Happy April Fool's Day!

Today, George W. Bush  and Dick Cheney resigned from office and named Hillary Cllinton and Donald Trump as their successors.  When reporters asked why, the former President and Vice-President both said, "Because the Donald said 'You're fired" to us."

Meanwhile, Hillary divorced her husband, former President Bill Clinton, because Bill wanted to marry the elderly George Bush, father of W, and move to Provincetown, Massachusetts, to live happily ever after.

Howard Stern, after earning billions of dollars since joining Sirrius Satellite Radio in January 2006, decided to buy all the stock of CBS Radio, Inc., making him to new CEO.  His first business decision was to hire Yvonne Christian as co-host of David Lee Roth's morning radio show.  Also, Howard gave Diamond Dave the okay to resume doing his radio show with background music from Dave's record collection.  Also, Howard re-hired Dave's two sidekicks, Animal and Brian Young, who were recently fired.

"I'm the King of Media.  What I say, you jump," Howard Stern said at a press conference.

In music news, Paul McCartney came to his senses and decided to divorce Heather Mills in order to marry Yvonne Christian, David Lee Roth's new co-host.

Whitey Bulger and Osana bin Laden were found today at former WBCN/WZLX disc jockey Charles Laquidara's home in Maui, Hawaii.  After the FBI and US military invaded his home, Laquidara said that he thought Bulger and bin Laden were just a couple of beach bums he met recently while out motorcycling around the island.  "Duane thought they would make great houseguests," Charles explained before being arrested.  Charles had recently returned to the Boston airwaves on WBOS-FM hosting an hour long show called "Back Spin."  A spokesman at WBOS  said that they are considering hiring former Boston disc jockey Dude Walker as Laquidara's replacement.

And finally, former Boston disc jockey Joe Martelle successfully contacted his late radio partner, Andy Moes, in a seance during a pay-per-view event earlier today.  The $1.99 TV event hosted by psychics managed to contact Andy and learned that he has been playing poker  with Chuck Connors (the Rifleman), Clayton Moore (the Lone Ranger), Dick Simmons (Sgt. Preston of the Yukon), and Robert Urich (Spenser: For Hire).  Andy also said that he has been winning every hand and drinking all the beer that he wants.

That's all, folks!

Have a Happy April Fool's Day!